Perhaps you’ve heard about the “three selves” that we all possess: the healthy self, the wounded self, and the survivor self. (There are many names for these selves – another common categorization is authentic, adaptive, and performing.)

The healthy self is the self we are born with, the baby that’s here and happy to be taking up space! As we get older and experience trauma, we develop our wounded self. Then our survivor self is created to protect and shield our wounded self from the world. If we equate the survivor self to our nervous system’s ‘fight or flight’ response, then our healthy self would be our opposing ‘rest and digest’ function of the nervous system.

None of us want to live in our wounded or survivor self, and yet many of us operate primarily from that place, often without consciously recognizing it. So how can we tap back into our healthy self?

It helps to first recognize that the wounded self is asking for compassion, empathy, and understanding; it’s not something that makes us ‘weak’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘bad.’ It also helps to thank the survivor self for serving a purpose of protecting us all these years.

Next, your healthy self is grounded in all the good that makes you, you. The passions that light you up. The practices that keep you well. The essence of who you are and what you believe in. When you can tap into these things, you are tapping into your healthy self.

This doesn’t have to be a deep, complex pursuit. This can be easy and light and fun. It gets to be easy and light and fun! The world is dark and heavy enough already.

Start small, in attainable, bite-size steps.

For instance, ask yourself how your healthy self would walk. My guess is head held high, standing tall and confident! Or, what would a supportive self-care routine look like for your healthy self? When facing a challenge, how would your healthy self respond? (It can help to first consider how your wounded or survival self would react.)

This month, take small steps to say hello to and nurture your healthy self. Tune into what they need to come online. Consider:

• Listing the qualities your healthy self possesses
• Quick techniques like breathing to reset and reconnect
• Creating a simple morning/evening ritual that supports your healthy self
• Daily journaling, gratitude meditation, or movement practice to embody the healthy self

 
For me, this has been a profound practice of connecting to myself on a deeper level. I feel more confident, more intentional, and more supported from within. Now more than ever, it is crucial that we remain as grounded and supported in our healthy selves. The world needs more of us operating from that place.

Take care,
Ashton, Founder of YouAligned and YA Classes

PS. You’re invited! Join me for our November Legs Up the Wall challenge. It’s simple: take a few minutes each day to put your legs up the wall, breathe deeply, and reset. Your nervous system will thank you. Bonus! Email me at the end of the month if you complete the challenge, and we’ll include your name in our Challenge Completers list in next month’s Letter From the Editor.

PSS. Exclusive Early Access to Meditation Magazine’s new Hope Issue
As YouAligned readers, you get to enjoy early access to the digital copy of Meditation Magazine’s Hope Issue. Human rights activist Desmond Tutu said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” Meditation Magazine’s latest issue is centered around hope and a positive way for all of us to work together to co-create a happier, healthier & more peaceful world.

Hopefully this magazine brings more hope, peace, love, and light into your life and to the world around you. View the full digital version.