You’ve probably heard the saying, “Don’t wait to live.” My version is, “Don’t postpone your joy.” My question is, why do so many of us keep postponing the very things we know make us feel the most alive?

I don’t think it’s necessarily because we’ve forgotten how to slow down . . .

I think we’ve forgotten the gift that slowing down gives us. Somewhere along the way, we traded that gift for the societally-endorsed striving to do more.

Last year, I found myself in a season of hopelessness. With everything we’re witnessing in the world, I don’t think those feelings are surprising or unnatural. My suspicion is that most of us are feeling this on some level. This is what I’ve been thinking about, and it’s led me to what I’ll share next.

Here’s something hope-giving for you: the antidote to hopelessness is participation and presence. Being a present, active participant means embracing all aspects of your life – your current challenges and struggles, your relationship with self and others.

Presence and participation ask something major from us: to lead with courage. It takes immense courage to stay present amidst difficulty and discomfort. It takes courage to actively participate in your life. If that sounds cliche, it’s not. How many people opt out? Too many.

We are meant to feel our feelings. It’s important that we invite them to the table rather than sweep them under the rug. But I’ve also learned that hopelessness, like anger, isn’t a place we’re meant to live in longterm.

We can feel these emotions. Honor them. Ask them questions and try to understand what they’re here to show us. Give them space to breathe and be. And then, when we’re ready to, keep moving.

Because I don’t only want to love my life when it’s “good.” That’s not participation – that’s stagnation, and a cop-out.

I want to honor it wholly: The grief and the joy. The birthdays and the ordinary Thursdays. The beautiful homecooked dinner and the mountain of grimy dishes afterward. My wish is the same for you.

As I recently celebrated my birthday, it made me think a lot about time. Not because I’m afraid of getting older (though I am genuinely shocked that it’s been 12 years since I started YouAligned.com!).

If I’m lucky, maybe I have 40 or 50 more autumns. Maybe five. I don’t know.

Suddenly, “next fall” doesn’t sound guaranteed. And this fall season becomes infinitely precious. Not because I need to pack more into it. Because I want to be fully present for it. Since tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, I want to fully participate in living my life as it is right now.

So here’s the question I’ve been sitting with, and maybe you’ll sit with it too:

What have you been postponing that makes you feel most alive?

With gratitude,
Ashton