13 Signs You’re a Bad Yogi (funny)

(Disclaimer – we’re just having some fun here. That’s allowed isn’t it?)
 
Hey guys and gals, we need to talk.
 
All of your perfectly enunciated Sanskrit chants are really distracting me from hearing the voice inside my head think about what I’ll make for dinner tonight. I sense this either makes you roll your eyes and keep scrolling, or give me a digital high five.
 
If it’s the latter, you may have caught this Bad Yogi syndrome that’s going around and you should probably get your chakras checked.
 
In the mean time, here are some symptoms to help you self diagnose.
 

You might be a Bad Yogi if…

1.  If you can’t help but crack a smile when someone farts in class (it’s perfectly natural, but perfectly giggle-worthy, too).
    
2. If you actually tell the teacher about your day when she asks the class how their days were at the beginning.
    
3. If you occasionally murmur profanities during difficult poses.
    
4. If you’ve indulged in a pre- or post-class fast food run.
    
5. If you’ve ever silently told your neighbor that yes, you are in fact, competing.
    
6. If you’ve ever thought, “that’s what she said” when your teacher gave instructions for something.
    
7. If you’ve ever skipped yoga class in favor of… not going to yoga class.
    
8. If you’ve ever misunderstood the word “sacrum.”
    
9. If you’ve ever thought that yoga doesn’t have to be all that serious.
    
10. If you leave your “holier than thou” attitude at the door.
     
11. If you don’t care whether you have the hottest new yoga pants to practice in.
     
12. Or if you’re only going to class to wear the hottest new yoga pants you recently purchased.
     
13. If you’ve ever had the CRAZY idea that yoga is for everyone, from the kale-loving vegan to the cigarette-smoking, cursing, SUV-driving asshole…

 
These are some of the things that might make you a Bad Yogi. But who wants to be good anyway? Wine is great, farts are funny, some poses ARE really hard, and some days are for lying in bed and eating ice cream. YOGA IS FOR EVERYONE, even the cigaret smoking, SUV-driving asshole. If anyone tells you differently, maybe they are the Bad Yogi.
 
Just get on the mat and become a better you. Like life, yoga is supposed to be fun.
 
If I’ve forgotten anything essential, feel free to add to this list in the comments below.
 

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