Speak Your Truth! Here’s How to Say What You Mean With Confidence

Have you ever told yourself that you were going to do something, failed to complete the task, and then brushed it off because you didn’t really tell anyone else? (So what does it matter, right?!) Well, if you want to speak your truth, it matters!

You may not realize the internal harm this can cause on your own self-trust and belief systems.

You probably don’t realize the power and weight that your words carry, even if you’re just stating an intention out loud or in your daily planner.

“I’m going to go to the gym every day this week. I’m not going to have any alcohol this month.”

And then you don’t follow through because: life. But, if you want to speak your truth, you have to turn this around.

Here Are 5 Ways You Can Speak Your Truth:

Speaking more truthfully isn’t always about “telling the truth” or simply not lying. It’s about really believing what you’re saying and making sure it is true by following through.

By really focusing on your own thoughts and words, how they align with who you are and your values, and truly believing in what you are saying, you can add a whole new level of mindfulness to your current practice.

So, practice these five methods to speak your truth with confidence and clarity.


1. Do What You Say You’ll Do

Literally, do it. Stop “lying” to yourself. If you say every day that you’ll go to the gym tomorrow, but don’t, you’re essentially lying to yourself all the time. Pause before you say these things. Really, pause.

Think logically and with intention. Maybe you know that doing these things will make you feel great. However, you have a lot going on at work, you know that sometimes the day gets away from you and you may not be able to tackle everything on your healthy living to-do list every single day.

You probably don’t realize the power and weight that your words carry.

Instead of repeatedly saying you’ll do something, and then not doing it (and then continuing this pattern), consider whether or not you’ll really be able to complete the task you want to check off your list. Is it realistic? Is it something you want to do?

If it is, then do it. If it isn’t, then don’t say you will.

2. Re-Evaluate How Often You Use the Word “Should”

If you’re always saying you “should” be doing something but don’t know why you’re not doing it, re-evaluate that.

Why do you feel like you “should?” Why aren’t you doing it? Do you feel like you should be doing something as a parent? Do you feel like you should be eating a different way? Calling your grandma more often?

Using the word “should” instills an instant feeling of guilt that comes with the rest of the phrase. You might be saying it to make yourself feel better by acknowledging your subpar performance or to be able to relate to others in conversation.

Instead ask yourself: Do I really want to? If it’s important to you, then start doing it, and you can take away the guilty “should” words. If it’s not, then let it go.

3. Stop Calling Yourself a Bad Mom, Dad, Friend, Wife, Husband, Etc.

If you are “failing” at something small (or large) all the time and then verbally beating yourself up about it, you’re not justifying anything by all the negative self-talk, nor are you making the situation better.

We have enough coming at us in this world today and enough to worry about without creating anxieties and false affirmations like, “I’m a horrible wife, I never make dinner anymore,” or “Total mom fail, it’s chicken nuggets again.”

Every moment is a choice. You can choose to make dinner, you can choose an alternative to chicken nuggets, or you can own it and think along the lines of, “I worked really hard today. I’m appreciated in my home for my contributions, and because we’re a team, my husband really doesn’t mind picking up dinner on the way home from work. This works for us.”

Consciously acknowledging when something needs to change and then actively doing something about it is what makes a difference. Otherwise, there’s just no use in being so mean to yourself, so let the self-loathing go.

4. Lose the “Just”

Let’s all take a moment to get real John Mayer with it and say what you mean to say. Using “just” makes it sound like you are defending, proving, or sharing information that isn’t welcomed.

It may sound like you’re simplifying something, however, it’s not necessary if the rest of the sentence is real. This happens a lot when someone’s in sales or trying to push their way into an area they know they shouldn’t be.

Consciously acknowledging when something needs to change and then actively doing something about it is what makes a difference.

“I just wanted to call and see if you were interested in blahbiddy blah,” or defending yourself during an argument with your significant other, “I just wanted to do something nice, and it didn’t work.” Now, take out the just. “I was calling because,” “I was trying to do something nice.”

Ask yourself: Is the statement true? Do you feel confident in what you are sharing, saying, selling, or asking? If you do, then you don’t need the “just.” If not, re-evaluate.

Need better communication skills to speak your truth? Use these 5 Affirmations to Balance Your Throat Chakra for Clear Communication


5. Exchange Your Lame Excuses for Valued Priorities

Understand that your values and priorities are different than your friends’ and families’ and that is totally fair and valid. (Trust me, this takes work!)

There’s no need to “white” lie your way through obligations. You can kindly be honest, respecting both your time and someone else’s simply by sharing that something is not a priority for you.

Stating what is of value to you can help establish your boundaries without putting fault on anyone else.

If you feel like you need to add a little cushion to your conversation, acknowledge their position first, “I know that you were really hoping that I could make it to the party, however, that date isn’t going to work for us.” Validating someone else’s perspective is extremely helpful in communication.

If they push, you can remain firm and consistent, while trusting yourself and your judgement. It’s ok to say what you really mean. “I know how I usually feel by the time Friday night comes around, and it’s important to me that I spend time at home.”

Stating what is of value to you can help establish your boundaries without putting fault on anyone else.

Learn to say no! Here’s How to Exercise Your NO Muscle and Set Healthy Boundaries (Video)

The Takeaway On How to Speak Your Truth

A part of personal growth is honoring your truth, what is best for you, and trusting yourself. This takes a lot of practice and can sometimes be disappointing to others. But disappointing is not the same as actively hurting someone. So, trust yourself.

By paying more attention to what you are telling yourself, what you are saying out loud, and how “truthful” your words really are, you can become more credible to both yourself and others.

You’ll be able to make better decisions and feel more confident when you know you’re not saying something just to say it.

Go ahead, really speak your truth! Use These 7 Mantras to Clear Your Throat Chakra and Speak Your Truth

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Nicole Schmitz

Nicole L. Schmitz is a Mama, Certified Health and Nutrition Counselor, Medicinal Aromatherapist, yogi and writer. She uses easy to understand nutritional knowledge to support others as they navigate the world of natural health. She loves living by the beach, creating art, and inspiring others to make better healthy lifestyle choices every day.

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