Guided Meditation to Let Go of Relationships That No Longer Serve You

Loving yourself is the key to love. Maybe it is the key to life. Until you love yourself – truly love yourself – you will not know how to love another or be able to receive love from another. Because as Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

So how do we begin to romance ourselves?

It starts with love, is filled with love, and ends with love. And how is this love sandwiched inside of yourself? I believe it is realizing how you define love and what makes you feel love/loved. It is paramount to notice when something does not serve you.
Have you ever bitten into a piece of bread only to find it hard, stale and lacking taste? Did you continue to eat that piece of bread or did you toss it?
Don’t break yourself trying to bite into something that is too hard or has lost its taste. Love yourself so much so that every tastebud is delighted.
Have you ever stayed in a relationship, job, or friendship that is stale, spoiled, or no longer serving you? Perhaps the relationship is not healthy – maybe it’s even hurtful – or the job is moldy or toxic and yet, there you are, biting into it day after day.

Don’t break yourself trying to bite into something that is too hard or has lost its taste. Love yourself so much so that every tastebud is delighted.

Why do we continue with things that no longer serve, feed, uplift, or fulfill us?
Do we truly believe we are not worthy of fresh, satisfying, nutrient-packed love and a life that enriches us?
Is the decision to stay based out of fear? Fear of being ‘alone’ or fear of the unknown?
So take a moment to ask yourself – how DO you feel in your current position at work, or in your current relationship?

Let’s examine these questions through a simple guided meditation:

Start by grounding yourself for a moment. Find a comfortable seat. It is helpful if your hips are higher than your knees, so you may wish to prop yourself up on a cushion, pillow or a folded blanket. Take a few deep breaths as you start to slow the constant chatter that may be moving around and around in your mind.
Begin to breathe deeply, fully and evenly. Feel your breath in your belly, chest, and throat. From here, bring your hands to your heart in Anjali Mudra.
Imagine that you are bringing your past-self and your imagined, future-self together, between your palms. In this sense, you begin to hold yourself in this present moment.
Invite memories into your present moment, calling the past you forward to who and where you are right at this very moment.
Continue to breathe. Become aware of, and feel, how you feel right here, right now, in this moment. Stay here for many breaths. Take as much time as you would like.
Once you feel grounded, present and still, ask yourself these questions:
“Am I fulfilled with my current relationship? Do I feel understood, respected, loved? Does my heart feel full?”
If you are currently in a job that you dread day in and day out, ask the above questions in this particular context. Inquire about the fulfillment you get out of your work or if you feel respected and valued at your place of employment.
In both your personal and professional life, you have the right to feel full, loved, respected, and HAPPY. If you cannot answer the above questions with a full and resounding Y.E.S., then probe a little deeper.
As the next step, take some time to examine your “love life.” Start to ask yourself these questions, and really allow yourself to sit with the insight that surfaces.
When you quiet your racing mind and listen to the constant beating of your heart, the true answers will arise.
“Do I feel lonely in my current relationship? Do I feel that my partner does not really listen to me when I speak? Does my current job leave me feeling dissatisfied or discouraged?”
As you sit holding your palms together, once again, breathe into this present moment. Imagine your heart resting between your cupped palms.
Does your heart feel safe, loved, and connected to those in your life, and connected to your true nature?
Does your heart feel filled with purpose, and satisfied with the work that you are currently doing?
Is the way you are living your life in alignment with what your heart is telling you?
Now gently and kindly ask yourself why you may be staying in a situation that is not feeding you.
Why do you stay in a relationship that starves you? What keeps you involved with someone or something that may be holding you back from your fullest expression of love and authenticity?
Where have you lost the ability to stand up for what you believe in, and most importantly, stand up for yourself?
Breathe even more deeply. Open your mouth and release an audible H-A haaaa exhale – a big releasing sigh.
Feel whatever weight you may be carrying slip off your shoulders. Sense the freedom that comes with letting go of something that may be weighing you down or holding you back.
Take a moment to imagine a time when you felt so loved you thought you would burst.
Explore that warm feeling – how it rests in your heart, in your body, in your soul.
Connect to that experience. Send that love to the deepest parts of yourself that may disbelieve it was ever real.
You are meant to be loved. You are meant to love. Bask in the warmth that love brings you. Send it outward and back inward, with each breath. Reconnect with that feeling. It is magical and has never left you. It is you.
The final step is to take a moment to imagine someone you love dearly – someone you would do anything for. Imagine the shape of their face, the way they smell, the way they smile.
Now picture this beautiful soul in the situation or relationship that you are currently in. Ask yourself what you would advise them to do. When you love someone so much, you wish only the best for them. What would you want for this loved one?
Gently replace the face of your loved one with your own and offer up this same loving advice to yourself.

* * * * *


I am not saying you should jump ship and quit your job or leave your partner. However, it is important to examine how you truly feel in your current life situations.
Maybe in your relationship the love is still there, and the connection just needs to be reestablished. Perhaps the bond that brought you together in the first place can even be strengthened and a deeper love will be formed if you start the conversation.
You can begin to discover new ways to recreate the love and connection. It takes work. It requires honest communication. It requires asking for what you need and doing so in a way that is not overly critical or demanding, but filled with your heart’s desires.
At your work, perhaps you could have a meeting with your boss. You could ask questions about how to bring new energy into the work that you do. Maybe you could create new approaches or new projects that would bring about a greater sense of achievement.
If you complete this guided meditation and feel that you’ve uncovered an issue that is no longer serving you, then begin taking steps to let it go and move forward with your life in the name of what does serve you.
Change is not easy. It requires energy, work, and thinking outside the box. If you feel stagnant, stuck, stale, then what else can be done to shift that energy?
Feed yourself with love and light. Let the warmth of your relationships and the work that you do provide you with all that you need to grow. And if they aren’t currently doing this for you, then you know that change is needed.
I will leave you with a quote from Shannon L. Alder. “You are not an option, a choice or a soft place to land after a long battle. You were meant to be the one. If you can wrap yourself around the idea that you are something incredible, then you will stop excusing behavior that rapes your very soul. You were never meant to teach someone to love you. You were meant to be loved.”

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Kerry Fantelli

Kerry Fantelli is a medical professional and yoga instructor based in Vermont. Recently, Kerry has been reading her writing after her yoga classes and also has shared poems with her patients that she hopes may find solace in her words. She is a healer and loves to write with the theme of helping, easing, and understanding emotions.

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